"I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years"
Six months from today I will turn 30! Wow. I am a little excited. I love birthdays. I think they are great! It is the greatest gift to grow older. The most difficult birthday for me was turning 25. It was an age my brother never saw.
"Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years"
I think about my brother often. I know it was no coincidence that today at Mom2Mom we talked about prayer. I can remember desperately praying for God to heal Jason. And when it didn't happen, when he didn't receive the healing I begged God for, I was angry. For many, many years I simply didn't pray. Finally, my mom got a hold of me. "Jackie," she said, "Prayer is not for us to change the will of God, but for us to allow God to mold our heart in accordance with His will." My prayer was answered. Jason is healed. My brother is Home Free.
"My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here
In my next thirty years"
Sometimes our past valleys help prepare us for future valleys. Again, for the past 2 years I have pleaded with God. Begged him for a positive pregnancy test. And He has answered.... with at "NO." It stinks. But it is what it is. I am having to re-learn the lesson my mom taught me.
"Oh my next thirty years, I’m gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I’ll remember my next thirty years"
I am done with feeling sorry for myself. DONE. I am no longer going to drown my sorrows in a bucket of Blue Bell. I am going to take charge of my life and live. I am shifting my focus on being healthier. Mind, Body, and Soul. It comes to no surprise to me that as soon as I made this decision my eldest sister invited me to run a 1/2 marathon in February. In the past when she asked me to run a race with her I gave the excuse of "well I might be pregnant..." This time I said "YES! Sign Me Up!"
"My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years"
~Tim McGraw
Waking up is a gift. Love is a gift. Love extravagantly, without reservation. A friend once asked me "What if tomorrow the only people in your life were the ones you showed love to today?" Woah. And the truth is no one is promised their next breath. No one is promised tomorrow. So live today to its fullest. And don't forget to love.
And now these three remain:
faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13
Cheers!
