Tomorrow....

2.11.12 Tomorrow....

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.” ― A.A. Milne

My brother went home to Heaven 2.11.01... eleven years ago tomorrow... I still miss him. My heart still aches. I wonder what we would be doing these days. What new jokes he might tell. His laugh and sense of humor were amazing. He would laugh at me. Today I passed out radios to our adult volunteers who came to help with Hot Hearts. He would laugh because the radios didn't have batteries in them... and my boss had been ''charging'' them all night! She and I had a good long laugh about it. It feels good to laugh... especially on a day when all I want to do is sit down and cry.

A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. But...there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that's how awful the loss is! - Neugeboren 1976, 154. My heart aches for my parents. Even more so now that I have a child of my own. I never knew how much space in my heart someone so small could occupy. I never knew how much it must hurt...

Oh Father, You have given
Much more than I deserve
And I have felt Your hand of blessing
On me at every turn
How could I doubt Your goodness
Your wisdom, Your grace
So Lord hear my heart
In this painful place
When all that I can sing
Is a broken hallelujah
When my only offering
Is shattered praise
Still a song of adoration
Will rise up from these ruins
I will worship You and give You thanks
Even when my only praise
Is a broken hallelujah
~Mandisa